FEK OFF!

Kids in supermarkets……..FEK OFF!

Enviromentalists……..FEK OFF!

Manbags……….FEK OFF!

People who talk loudly on mobiles………FEK OFF!

Coldplay……..FEK OFF!

Twats who carry rats (sorry, dogs) in bags……FUCK OFF!

Adverts telling me to drink responsibly, eat less salt, eat five a day, give up smoking etc, etc…….FEK OFF!

Reduce your carbon footprint (bend over while i ram mine up the crack of their arse)…..FEK OFF!

Feel free to carry on in the comments!

A very INconvenient product

As a British citizen, I thought I should bring this to your attention as I feel it is quite an interesting issue.

I have had a couple of incidents with a new milk product called Dairystix. I say only a couple as I wasn’t prepared to use them again afterwards! If you are not sure what I mean they are an alternative to the little plastic pots you get on trains/in service stations etc. Shaped like sugar sticks but with plastic packaging they contain a portion of milk to put into your tea/coffee etc. Despite the not-so-helpful hint on the pack to ‘tear off here’, the milk squirted out of the tube and all down my clothing, over shooting my cup by a mile. On the second occasion the milk still went everywhere and the ripped off top fell in my drink forcing me to put my fingers in scalding tea – which is not what you need on a Monday morning!.

This is not just some aimless rant, I am not the only person who feels this way. After encountering such irresponsible engineering I had a hunt on the net to find out if it really was just me. It turns out that I am not alone. On YouTube I found 3 videos of people documenting their disastrous experiences with Dairystix – all of them ending up covered in milk, for example:

If someone has an issue with anything you are bound to find something about it on Facebook and this is true when it comes to Dairystix. Search for ‘Campaign to get Dairystix banned from all office environments’.

There is even a petition on Number 10’s website to abolish the “modern menace” that is Dairystix. However, it is apparently not in the Prime Ministers power to do anything about, so sadly it was rejected, but still displayed on the website.

A rather interesting point is raised when it comes to their environmental efforts. On the newer packaging, Dairystix states, “50% less packaging than plastic pots”. While this may be correct in terms of amount of packaging used it is not really an advantage as none of it is recyclable. The plastic pots on the other hand are fully recyclable apart from the foil lid. So in terms of what ends up on the landfill, there is going to be more space taken up by Dairystix packaging than plastic pots! Not the message you get from the Dairystix website I might add!

Anyway I feel I have vented my spleen and just wanted to highlight this issue others. If it is in your power to bring it to the attention of a wider audience I would urge you to do so!

It has to be about the snow

I am fascinated at how snow has suddenly become a story in the last couple of days. Ok, we have had quite a lot of snow in the South but the snow has been hitting the North for the last couple of weeks and the news bulletins have barely noticed. Now of course it effects London and it's in walking distance of the news editors. If they're struggling to get into work it must be news. Maybe I'm being somewhat cynical, do you think?

Everyman needs his garden shed. It's true, really! In Australia some extensive research was done as a result of an initial finding that men with a garden shed had significant lower levels of stress and thus complications as a result. Now it possible for a man to get a shed grant from the Government.

My neighbour has a shed he spends a great deal of time in. Actually his shed is quite extensive and is as good many bedsits I've known. He tells me that when he is in his shed he feels really relaxed. He doesn't know why, he just does. I also have a shed but can't get into it for junk, but us men do need a space that is ours. We can be ourselves, fart without caring. Read comics and feel like a big kid, whatever, no one is watching so you can relax it's your space. A lot of marriages could be saved if the female partner recognized what I'm sure is a universal truth about men. We need to be ourselves and that is not always what a wife/partner wants to see her husband being. Some do, like mine, but most men aren't so lucky. I've been there and donethat.

So to all those women out there with male partners, give him his own space that is genuinely his. I can promise you you'll get massive dividends as a result.

Women's needs are not that dissimilar, but I would be a brave man to discuss that.