Sunday, September 20, 2009

Body Baking

Basically, the concept is to cook a meal using your own body heat, while your working out, jogging etc... For instance:

Hickory-Smoked Armpit Chicken

Simply cut chicken into halves, soak in special seasonings, tie (using twine) halves over shoulders, so that chicken segments rest comfortably inside armpits.

Now go for your daily jog. After about four miles, your chicken should be ready.Yum yum. It's fast, it's fun, it's self-basting, but most important, it tastes Great!

Workout time may vary, depending on how much heat your body produces.

-Here are some more ideas:-

Honey-Glazed Cleavage Ham
Pot Belly Stew
Double Chin Chili
Crotch Brownies
Butt-Crack Biscuits

Use your imagination and invent your own dish. You can even cook more than one item at a time. Of course, stouter bodies produce extra heat and provide larger cooking areas, therefore the potential exists for more varied and larger portions of body baked food to enjoy

And For Dessert..

Lemming Meringue Pie


1/4 cup cream
Pie crust (graham cracker)
4 egg whites
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tbls. vanilla
1/2 cup sugar
2 medium sized Lemmings

First you'll be needing some Lemmings To achieve this, find a tall cliff that is well known for its Lemming sightings. Place a large pot 15 ft. from the base of the cliff, (or a bunch of 'em if your having a party) and wait.

Now, their are some of you out there who refuse to eat meat because of your moral belief's about the slaughter of animals. Well here is a delicious guilt free meal that virtually kills itself.

Now if you've played your cards right, it will be around midnight and you should be hearing a low rumbling from above. Lick your lips, for soon it'll be a'raining moronic, moon chasing Lemmings..SLURP!

To prepare:

De-fur, de-bone and puree Lemmings. Pour into pie crust. Mold (with spatula) to fit pan.
Separate egg white. Half whip whites. Mix cream, salt, vanilla, and sugar. Add whites and whip. Spoon over Lemming puree and bake uncovered at 450ยบ for 45 min.- Bon Appetite!

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