Why does shopping fill me with such dread? I find queuing so badly stressful it’s unreal.
I was unemployed for over a year and had money problems but never got this stressed. It starts from the moment i get through the doors, no actually i was about to get off the escalator when i was confronted by hell-spawn, i thought i might have to try to go back to stop bashing into the kid but luckily mum appeared to take the thing away. They should be kept on a fekking lead or harness in public, running around, screaming and getting in your way the little fekking bastards! Shopping is the only event to change my personality from easy going nice guy to potential axe murderer. Are you going down that aisle? yes/no make your mind up because i know where i’m going and you, fek-face silly bastard are in the fekking way. Out on a Sunday stroll? Well fek off to the park i’m trying to shop you pair of grunts. Put that fekking phone down and look where you're going. Finally the checkout where i want to wait as little as possible and push everyone else through the fucking window. There’s a problem with someone’s card, i’m mentally sharpening my axe . Now the cashier drops my card on the floor where everyone has been walking so fek knows what they may have trodden in. Finally some utter cretin totally blocks my way so i have to push past someone else’s trolley to get by. Quick get out or someone's gonna fekking die
My supermarket my rules; NO fekking kids, NO oldies at the weekend, NO mobile phones, NO chavs, NO chatting and NO fekking checkouts! In fact, NO other grunt when i’m in there.